Hrm … thought of the day.
“Wait,” He said.
“I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
“You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
“The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.
“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still … Wait.”
I had my fair share of experiences at Starbucks today but nothing hit me as hard as a conversation I overheard before leaving with a lump in my throat.
These two middle-aged men sitting next to me started talking about this topic so new to me. Such strong words consumed their conversation: sober, detox, meetings, “I don’t want to go back”, serenity, peace, “I’ve lost everything”.
One was a recovered alcoholic, the other was still going through the program. They were grabbing coffee after contacting one another at what I presume was a meeting. I just sat there with my head down, in quiet, I couldn’t focus on my readings. They have both lost it all: their jobs, their families, complete control over their lives. The guy was at the end of his rope, he was looking for an answer, a way out. He was a smart guy, ‘smarter than many other alcoholics I’ve talked to’ the other guy said.
They spoke of the third step prayer where the alcoholic would be confronted with reaching out to a higher power. They would repeat, “relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will”.
My heart just breaks when I encounter stories like these. I was reminded today that we all fall down. We are weak, weary and sinful souls. But those in Christ are a new creation. We will stumble and fall, but those who hope in the LORD, will find renewed strength.
And these walls are just walls I’ve build between You and me
If I could see You, if I could hear You
Then I’d know I need You just as before
Cause I’ve barricaded these tendencies
My selfish pride, these things inside, they always get the best of me
Show me love, teach me truth, break my heart and bring me back to You.
~ Fall by Ascend the Hill
Praying for you Jeff.
I love everything about this. I miss dance, so so so much.
